As Sha mentioned, i had stamped o5 may instead of 05 April on my scrapbook page in the previous entry.LOL. 5Th April is the date we got engage not may!! Oh well, here's part o1 of the Ngagement story...
it started innocently enough, wanting to errm go on to the next level in our relationship. so after sounding it off to both our parents, we planned for it to happen sometime in second half of 2008. yeap. second half would equates to june-dec, no? And that will give me sufficient time to plan...
then came the shocker. his parents want it to be MARCH or APRIL!! it was sometime mid-jan when this happen-ed and i was for-the-lack-of words, shelled shocked. Like seriously, i have not previously thought of how i wanted my engagement to be and all...and now i have 2 months to prepare? accckkk...
image from getty images
So it was then decided. Early April, that was to be our engagement date.
ok, at this point, i would like to give a proper explanation of the Malay/Muslim engagement and what it entails. Most of my non-Malay friends had no idea what an engagement was, they thought it was a ROM!I've managed to googled this from here, some of the extracts below;
First stage - Merisik
""Merisik" in Malay actually means spying (but in this context, it's not the James Bond type though). It means to learn more of something through informal enquiries, and in this particular case, of the feelings of the intended spouse and her parents.
Merisik is carried out by the young man’s parents or relatives to informally enquire on the girl’s agreement to the intended marriage and more importantly, to seek the consent of the girl’s parents. Marriage is a serious institution and both families must feel secure, happy and comfortable with the proposed union. "
followed by the Engagement
"The Pertunangan (betrothal) or Malay traditional engagement ceremony actually crystallizes the verbal agreement made during the previous Merisik process. The highlight of this traditional engagement ceremony will be the putting of the engagement ring on the fiance’s finger by the future mother-in law, or, if the groom’s mother is deceased or unable to make the trip, his sister or nearest auntie. "
Day of Engagement
"On the appointed date and time, a delegation from the groom led by his close family members and relatives will arrive at the bride’s home. "
When everyone has been seated on the floor of the house in a sort of a circle, with the hantaran items in the middle, then the session starts with preliminary speeches of welcome and introductions – of course in a jovial and friendly manner.
With both sides alternately addressing each other about the coming union, reference is frequently made on the agreements reached during the Merisik session previously, but mainly to restate and reaffirm what were agreed then. "
pics from my engagement / click to view
"After discussion and agreements have been achieved, then, as is the Malay custom, the highlight of the traditional engagement ceremony or Pertunangan is the putting of the engagement ring on the would-be bride by the future mother–in-law.
The future mother-in-law, followed by other female members, will enter the girl’s gaily decorated room, where she had been waiting apprehensively all the time, and with the ring put on the finger of her future daughter-in law, hugs and kisses her cheeks. Likewise the girl will kiss the woman’s hands and hug her tightly.
During a traditional engagement ceremony, it is the Malay custom that the young man is not to attend the ceremony. He would be at home or away somewhere (perhaps fervently praying that the engagement would be accepted by the bride’s family).
However, if he is nearby, (which is normally the case as he has to show the way to his fiancé’s house) he will be invited for the meal or feast, but only after the ceremony has ended. "
And that is how a Malay/Muslim engagement goes... it can vary a little from the different countries and states but the essential idea is as above.
Part Deux to follow!
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